The Family Tree...Living for God in Jesus

In years that from now on will always be designated as before/after Covid19, we had the good fortune to celebrate Father’s Day with my son and his family.  The day was always made more special because it coincided with 2 birthdays. Of course this year those milestones will be celebrated in person at some unknown time in the future. 

Last Father’s Day still reminds me of how much fun it was to be surrounded with  the young ones of all ages and listen to their respective conversations and interests. I especially enjoyed listening to the various pleas and individualized approaches that each of the children used in asking permission for this or that. I recognized many of these scenes from the past; they had been acted out when I was a parent and when I was a child myself.  Of course in time the youngsters drifted from our gathering, as I did when I was one of the younger ones, having spent the requisite amount of time with adults. They understandably grew restless and were eager to pursue their own interests.

As the proverbial “fly on the wall,” I listened to the repartee and marveled as to how well this all turned out. I realized that I became a better parent when I became a grandfather. As a grandparent I am more a spectator than an active participant and have the luxury of being able to sit back and observe how these scenes all play out. Sure, I know some of the challenges my son and daughter-in-law face in rearing children are the same as the ones we and our parents faced, but the world and our culture are more complex today and the pressures on parents to manage these challenges are greater than the ones we faced.

Our parents never faced Covid19 and the challenges that this dreaded virus has heaped on young families. The book has yet to be written but somehow it seems that it is all working out. Whatever changes that had to be made were made on the fly based on insight and intuition, with the default position always being whatever is best for all. There were no manuals to help with what was best for the health and safety of the family and while there were CDC guidelines and Government mandates, their implementation was very specific and personal to the family unit.

As a “spectator” I am in awe as to how our son and daughter-in-law work through the endless requests and issues that pop up on a daily, if not hourly basis, and I ask myself, “when did he learn to do all that; where did he pick up all the skills to handle this? I don’t think I would have done it as well.” I have learned so much about parenting in watching them and while it makes me feel good to think that there’s probably some imprinting going on, they are far ahead of where I was then. 

Along those lines few years ago I remember a Jay Leno interview with actor Michael Douglas. He spoke of his relationship with his father, Hollywood legend Kirk Douglas; I’ll paraphrase the story he told:

Dad called me the other night. He said, "Michael, I was watching myself in an old movie earlier tonight and I didn't remember making it."

"Well, Dad, you made over 70 movies and you are 94. Don't be so rough on yourself."

"No, Michael, you didn't let me finish. I realized halfway through that I was watching one of your movies."

Sometimes we see ourselves in our children almost as if we were watching an old  8 mm family movie. Wouldn't it be great if we could see certain aspects of our lives and how ways of relating to others play out in the life of Jesus? Every day we strive to be Jesus’ surrogates in all that we do. We don’t always succeed because we are not Jesus although being aware of when we slip is part of the journey.

Our task (Matthew 10: 3742) is to consciously attend to the Christ in everyone. Christ in the stranger. Christ in the enemy. Christ in the friend. Christ in the spouse. Christ in our siblings. Christ in the politician who makes our blood boil. Christ in the disenfranchised. Christ in the “others” and Christ in us.