Ask and it shall be given to you; seek and you shall find

As with most new fathers I had no idea what to expect as to my feelings toward the new baby would be after the child was born. Naturally, all the attention was understandably focused on the new mother to be. No one had any words of wisdom for me or shared his insight as to what I was likely to experience, but then, what was there to say? I like most “fathers-in-waiting” just sat on the sidelines and silently wondered what it would be like. So, when my son was born, I was overwhelmed by these new feelings and sensations and by the strength of my love for him, almost from the very beginning of his life.  

 Then as the birth of my second child approached, I was uneasy about my feelings and filled with false guilt as I secretly wondered how I could possibly love her (it was to be a girl), as much as I loved my son. There’s no way, I thought, I could duplicate those “feelings?” However, after my daughter was born, I realized that my love for her was just as great…I learned that I did not have to divide my love in order to share it, or consciously love one more or less than the other. It was already there, “pre-packaged” for me in both of my children. Today, I reflect on those early years of being a parent, and marvel at how much greater is the love of God for each one of us.

In our Gospel (Luke 11:1-13), Jesus teaches his disciples how to pray. Over the years I’m sure his lesson created considerable controversy and raised much doubt about all prayers being answered: So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is this really true?

Our children provide a unique model for us as we try to comprehend how much God loves us. Over the years, my children would ask for many things. All requests were heard and I know many of their requests were answered, if not always to their satisfaction. In some cases they received what they asked for; in many they did not. Often, however, my alternate suggestion, which they may have resisted at first, turned out to be an even better “gift” than what they had originally requested. I don’t remember ever not listening to their requests, despite how outlandish some may have been or I thought they were. I don’t remember not answering them one way or another. Even when they were denied for whatever reason, I listened, but our love for each other never suffered albeit there may have been some difficult gut-wrenching moments. At no time was the love we shared ever leveraged or ever remotely considered conditional. They were mutually exclusive. Can love ever really be conditional?