That's Impossible...Exactly!

Peter: “So, Jesus, just how many times should I forgive? Like, seven?”
Jesus: (thumbs up, gesturing up) “More than that, my friend.”
Peter: “Ok, like seventeen?”
Jesus: “Not even close.”
Peter: “Wait, like twenty-seven?”
Jesus: “Keep going.”
Peter: “You’re kidding, right? Thirty-seven?”
Jesus: “Try seventy-seven times.”
Peter: “But that’s ridiculous! Impossible!”

Exactly!

We try to put a number on forgiveness, set contractual arrangements for it to take, establish parameters for when or when not to forgive. But, forgiveness doesn’t work like that.

For any discussion on this passage from Matthew (Matthew 18: 21-35) to work, it can’t be a generic advisement to forgive or a veiled admonishment if you don’t. Otherwise, the only thing we will experience is some sort of moral guidance or counsel… one more thing to do to be a good Christian. As if we don’t already have enough to remember. As it turns out, according to Jesus, according to God, forgiveness is not just a good idea when it comes to the maintenance of relationships and communities. Forgiveness is a theological necessity.

What do I mean? I mean that God knows exactly what happens when forgiveness is withheld; when it is deemed unnecessary; when it is rejected. Well, it means some pretty hard work on our part. Sure, isn’t that just what we would expect to hear? Perhaps we can begin by exploring various definitions of or quotes about forgiveness. Which ring true? Which seem right? And why? What truth about forgiveness is communicated that you can’t seem to find the words to express?

For example, “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.” -Martin Luther King, Jr. Or, “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you” -C.S. Lewis. What about -- “Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past can be changed”-- Karoline Lewis. These quotes, suggest a beginning step toward being able to name and articulate why forgiveness is critical for us.

The next step is a lot harder. I think for a discussion on forgiveness to ring true, we will need to go to places we would rather not frequent -- the times when we have not forgiven; the moments when we were not forgiven. What does it feel like, really feel like, when you can’t forgive or when someone cannot forgive you? What happens when forgiveness does not happen? How do you feel about the other? Yourself? On the other side, what does it feel like to forgive, to be forgiven? We have to be willing to enter into those spaces first before we can invite others into those same experiences. We have to be able to name them, describe them, because that's what will make the difference between a discussion that touches the deepest longing and need for forgiveness and a conversation that only skims the surface of our souls with trite reproach.

And, we haven’t even touched on what it means to forgive yourself.

If we are unable to enter the spaces and places where we can sense the gravity of forgiveness, then we will not be addressing the weight of this passage from Matthew. It won’t be easy, that’s for sure. But maybe then we remember what it means to have God forgive us. That should help a little.

Adapted from A Generous Forgiveness, Karoline Lewis, Dear Working Preacher, 2014