Keep Awake for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. These words have been repeated for over 2,000 years, yet somehow we still fear the end of our life on earth. Sure, we are comforted by the many parallels in nature that reveal death to be a precursor to new life, but the fear of death lingers in the shadows. We have - or likely have - lived longer than our parents and grandparents. We know we are better fed, and while some might take issue with our respective quality of our lives, modern medicine protects us from pain, contagion and disease that will shorten our lives...Yet, we are still afraid. Why?
In the days following 9/11/01 the words Fear Not seemed a little harder to process and take to heart. Surely we had every reason to be afraid. I am reminded of Father Mychal Judge, a Franciscan priest, who served as Chaplain to the New York Fire Dept. He was the first registered victim at Ground Zero, the term euphemistically applied which now defines the former Twin Towers. The details of his death are unclear: some say he was fatally wounded as he administered last rites to a dying firefighter; others recall his being killed while in silent prayer. Whatever happened, his lifeless body was discovered in the Tower lobby and carried to a nearby church shortly before the building collapsed.
What does this have to do with our gospel (Mark 13:24-37)? I can remember driving to Connecticut that morning as I did daily for over a year. It had rained heavily the day before and this day was a day among days. Who knew how that fateful Tuesday, that began with skies so blue and air so clear, would end as it did? As I approached the Tappenzee, I could hear Charles McCord tell Don Imus that “it appears that a plane has crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center.” I looked to my right and could see the beginning of a smoke plume and immediately thought small aircraft. Minutes later now on the bridge, I heard McCord say that the North Tower was hit by another plane. What’s going on I wondered? I somehow managed to turn my car around on an unpaved, unfinished roadway before exiting into Connecticut…the bridge approaches were under construction and there was a way to do this maneuver far outside the bounds of what was permitted or legal but I knew that the bridge would be shut down and I had to get home. I also knew that I had to get to my wife and tell her to get out of Manhattan any way she could…now. She was alerted via the myriad of monitors in her office that something terrible happened and was still happening. Please go home I asked, maybe even demanded. We were afraid. It was a never-before-fear that was all so new to our adult lives; all I knew was we had to get home.
If the thought of finding God amidst such harrowing circumstances seems strange, perhaps it is because we are out of practice looking for Him. I am inspired beyond the time of my original writing a few years back by Nouwen, The Wounded Healer and Ronald Haney’s The God Within You. Haney writes “One of the best kept secrets in Christianity is this: God, infinite, all-powerful, eternal Trinity, Father, Son and the spirit, dwells within each one of us and is closer to you than you are to yourself. This is the mystery of the Divine Indwelling… And where God’s life is there is God. This is one of the most ancient doctrines of our faith. A belief that for the most part is lost in the dusty annals of history. It is a faith-conviction which if lived could make all the difference in our lives in as vivid as the Transfiguration, as subtle as water changed into wine, as dramatic as a prostitute repenting her way into sanctity.” (God Within You, Father Ronald T Haney.)
Knowing that Christ loves us may not save us from fear, nor will it save us from death. And so it comes down to this: The only way to truly overcome our fear of death is to "be prepared" and to live with the knowledge that God is ever present within and is closer to us than we are to ourselves. No, it will not protect us from fear but, as Jesus did in all his humanity he called on the Father to see him through his fear, not as our will but as His will be done.
In many ways, Father Mychal lived this gospel. In many ways this was a man who had arrived at Ground Zero long before 9/11. He had proved himself ready to lay down his life many times during his career. For him 9/11 could have occurred on any day or at any time... he was prepared.
As with Father Mychal, it means fighting the impulse to live for ourselves instead of for others. It means being prepared to die again and again to ourselves, and to every one of our self-serving opinions and agendas. But about that day or hour… no one knows. (Adapted from 11/25/12 blog RRR)
No comments:
Post a Comment