I wonder how many of us can really relate to Peter and how he reacted to Jesus' announcing that he is on his way to Jerusalem where he would be rejected by the elders and killed? (Mark 8:31-38) As if trying to absorb the impact of his words was not enough, Jesus tells his followers that they must deny themselves and take up their crosses. Can you blame Peter for asking his dear friend and mentor, "Just hold on and wait a minute, think about what you are saying; isn't this a bit much?" Let's face it,
Peter was finding it difficult to understand why following Jesus required such a commitment. Was he being selfish in wanting to hold onto those things he held dear? Was it really necessary to let them go, after all he was not a wealthy man?
All of us have some experience with selfishness. We can easily call to mind some people we know who are completely self-absorbed with their own feelings, desires and opinions. We know them because it is hard to be around them for very long without trying to run for the exit. Of course part of the problem is that we mirror ourselves in others and see a glimpse of what makes us uncomfortable in ourselves in others. Yet most of us can be completely oblivious to the ways in which we ourselves are absorbed in our own opinions, feelings or wants. We just don't notice it because it is about us. But make no mistake... all of us have plenty of experience with selfishness...our own selfishness.
Despite what we think or may have been taught, the self-denial that Jesus calls us to practice has nothing to do with denying ourselves something we like during lent. It's not about giving up meat or chocolate for six weeks. It goes way beyond that. Jesus calls us to let go of our own self interest. This is something most of us find a rather impossible choice, and perhaps one of the greatest obstacles to experiencing the life and love God offers us all. I think it also means getting free from ourselves that place in which the ego is the center of our universe. Perhaps that's what Jesus was getting at when he talked about trying to save our life by losing it. He said that the only way to truly live is to give ourselves away for the sake of others. When we get trapped in the prison of our own self indulgence, our own wants or what "I" deserve, we are stuck in a place that robs us of life itself.
We only truly discover the life and love that God has to offer when we let go of all of those things we cling to so tightly in that small place of the ego and open ourselves to the people around us in compassion, understanding and love. Only then can we be open enough to receive the life and love that God wants to give to each of us every day. (based on Alan Brehm, The Walking Dreamer, 2015.)
Peter and the other disciples were perfectly willing to follow Jesus if he would lead them in a violent revolution against the Romans. For the overthrow of those oppressors they would gladly give their lives. They were betting that Jesus the Messiah would be victorious because the power of God was behind him. A cross was the punishment that awaited a failed revolutionary. Jesus refused to use violence, yet he was promoting a revolution-- the Kingdom of God. It was still too spiritual for Peter; he wanted Jesus to have the same values he had: wealth and power, so he "remonstrated." Jesus shot back: You aren't looking through the eyes of God. Can Peter come to see that the Kingdom of God is worth giving everything-- our very selves-- to attain? Can we give up the things that seem so important to us-- our wants and needs, our ego-food-- for the sake of the kingdom of God?
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