Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water

 

Have you ever noticed that it’s often in our most challenging times that we recognize God’s presence most clearly? I’m not saying it should be this way or that God is only present when we most need him. Rather, I think there is just something about significant challenges and trials that clarify our priorities and cut through the many distractions of everyday life that prevent us from feeling God's presence more clearly. What strikes me is how (Matthew 14:22-33)  reveals something deeply about our humanity, and the behavior of his disciples. While I know that I often overlook God’s presence when all is well, I have no problem calling out to him when things take a more difficult turn and are not going so well. Yes, I know it’s all a part of our transformative journey in which we desire to grow in our quest to be more closely united with God. But let’s face it, it’s so much easier when times are peaceful and pleasant.  

Looking back over these past months of  "confinement," compounded by some discomfort and apprehension, I realize how our faith is a little like a yo-yo or see-saw...up one day, down the other. Our initial fear of the early unknown had us hungrily praying  for God’s intervention.  When tragedy strikes in the form of personal loss, illness, the fracture of a relationship, or some mistake we’ve made, our ongoing need for God becomes painfully clear.  

Isaiah (55:1-33) reminds  us that from the beginning of our creation God desired that we flourish and thrive and while we know the journey back to Him is not easy and requires  effort on our part, do we sometimes just sit back and wait for life to happen? Or, or do we step out of our “boat” like Peter, and make it happen? Either way, we often forget how much we depend on God and when we think we have done it on our own, our egos dismiss His intervention: “it’s OK Lord, I got this one.” 

All too often we take comfort in our modest success and assume that we no longer need Him now. We forget how much God is intimately wrapped up in every aspect of our lives… and wants to be. As a reminder of God’s perennial presence Carl Jung had the following reminder carved over the entrance to his home in Zurich.  

You are My Beloved…Listen to Him

 

Do you remember when you first felt an undeniable prompt that called you to pursue a goal or an activity?  I wonder how many of us know when we have heard and responded to God's voice. While talk of "a calling" is commonly ascribed to clergy, we don’t necessarily consider that we’re called to a career, vocation or volunteering. But, why not? I raise this question because I think that “our calling” in life is in many ways related to the Transfiguration (Matthew 171-9).  The visual impact of the dazzling, blinding light and brightness enveloping Jesus is unforgettable. And yet the event forces us to focus on Peter in that it signals the beginning of Peter's transformation as well.

The scene moves very quickly. We can feel Peter’s fear and confusion as a voice from heaven literally interrupts his chatter, and virtually says, "Would you please be quiet for a minute, and just listen to him!" We can relate to Peter, as he falls to the ground in fright,  covering his ears and shielding his eyes. And in an instant,  it's over...the voice, the light, the prophets of the past...no one remains except Jesus, who reaches out to Peter, James and John, and calms their fears, and asks them to get up.

In that moment everything for Peter, I suspect, was still...and clear...and made sense. But we know it didn't last very long. On the way down the mountain Jesus once again had to remind Peter of his impending death and destiny and while Peter struggles to listen, to follow, and to be faithful, he will fail. My guess is that each time Peter “fell down,” he would look back on this day and recall those words, "Just listen to him!"

Perhaps Peter's transfiguration begins when he repeatedly fails, falls, and is lifted up again and realizes that above and beyond everything else, he is called to listen really listen to Jesus. (Are you listening; really listening?) Isn’t this the pattern that shapes the lives of every Christian? We  try our best and sometimes succeed and sometimes fail. We, have moments of insight and moments of denial. We fall down in fear and are raised up again to go forth in confidence. 

We are called to listen, to discern God's will if we are to be transformed. Don’t we identify with Peter? Don’t we see ourselves in this story? This story is as much about Peter and Jesus as it is about us. We, too, have been called both to "listen to him" and to "be lifted up"?  We too, are called, but I wonder if we sometimes even recognize his voice.

“There have been quite a few times when I have felt the winds of God’s grace in the sails of my small boat. Sometimes these graces have moved me in pleasant and sunlit directions. At other times the requested acts of love were born in the darkness of struggle and suffering. There have been spring times and there have been long cold winters of struggle for survival. God has come to me at times with the purest kindness, at times with the most affirming encouragement, and at other times with bold frightening challenges. I think that all of us have to watch and pray, to be ready to say “yes” when God’s language is concrete and his request is specific-“yes” in the sunlit spring times and “yes’ in the darkness of winter nights.” (John Powell, S.J., The Christian Vision, The Truth That Sets Us Free, p147)

Wheat and Weeds

 Jesus moves on, according to Matthew (Matthew 13:23-43), from stories of God-the-Mad-Farmer who sows seed everywhere and refuses to weed the crops, to stories of choices that must be made, stories in which it is not God, but we who must choose between small seeds that can grow God-crops in His world, and the myriad of things the world in all its disarray and turbulence, wants us to choose instead.

The grain of mustard seed – the smallest of all the seeds, breaks through a weedy patch to become the largest of all the bushes and offer shelter to many birds. The tiniest amount of yeast can grow flour into bread enough to feed a town. The smallest pearl in its natural purity, stands out among fake gaudy baubles, and has far greater value than everything we own. A unexpected treasure, found in the field of our lives will require everything we have to mine, hone and protect.

Each of these parables require that we go all out to pursue. The price for the treasures of God is everything we have. Who are we to be purchasing pearls? To be selling the farm for some little thing you found in a field? To be wasting all our yeast to raise barrels of flour to make bread for strangers? Who would plant a mustard seed that results in an invasive plant of little value instead of fig trees or olive groves?

And none of these would get us any attention or plaudits for our decision; no, rather most would get us some rolled eyes, catcalls, and derisive remarks uttered. It takes courage to know and follow God’s will for us; breaking from the crowd whose numbers may provide safety and shelter, is risky. To be willing to say and do the right thing when the crowd exhorts us to follow…what we know in our heart just doesn’t feel right. Isn’t that the Spirit speaking to us…it just doesn’t feel right? It’s a quiet thing in the midst of the chaos and noise.                                                                

Jesus reminds us that what’s precious is likely to be judged as junk by most folks, and likely to require a lot from you and me. All the stories say – Make yourself available to God

 

It’s the cutting edge of making choices,
splitting what you choose from what you don’t choose.
And making your choices will set you apart
from others, even friends and family.

 This is the work of becoming your own self.
When your choices upset those around you
it may be because you’re being foolish.
But it may be because you’re making your choices
instead of letting them. It will be like this.
Abandon that owned self, and find your own self.

Listen deeply to God.
Let God alone lead you.
Make yourself available to God
as an instrument of righteousness,
and know that even as you let go of your life
you receive life.
-Steve Garnaas-Holmes

Do we really know what we want?

 

It’s easy to relate to Jesus’ reaction to the crowd in Matthew 11:25-30 as he compares his followers to of children who cannot make up their minds:  John came neither eating nor drinking, and they said, `He has a demon'; the Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they said, `Look, at Jesus, a glutton, a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!  In today’s vernacular, Jesus might have asked “do you really know what you want? What else will it take for me to help you understand how much God loves you?” His beautifully human feelings to which we identify helps us know that the one whose Word we follow and live by can experience these emotions that are so much a part of our lives. 

We all view the world through our own prism or lenses that are largely influenced by our experiences and the world around us. Two people can hear an identical message yet, the same two people may have a completely different interpretation. We attribute this to our human nature. Sometimes we consciously create our own reality that serve our desired expectations and “wishes” based on what we want to hear. In most cases, our perception is unconscious and consistent with our view of reality. This might be called “unintentional bias.” 

It’s when we allow the ego to “re-write” or “re-create” our own “script” for what we know to be reality, that we work at cross-purposes with God’s will. These become fanciful dreams, not based in reality. On the other hand, “hope” is based on realistic expectations that come into play as new creative possibilities. Scientific studies are rooted in premises that have reasonable potential for a desired outcome. When all parties are blinded any possible unintentional bias is removed. Studies are only possible when empiric evidence suggests a positive outcome. in other words we don't set out to design a study to prove a negative outcome. Consider our current political climate: when we don't like the outcome, we subvert the facts and create our own. Jesus loved the Centurion as much as the leper. He had no qualifiers.  

“What do you want? Jesus seems to ask the crowd. Except he knows they won’t answer. They can’t because what they want is to grow, to evolve, to improve and more. And yet, they want to be left alone, untouched and unchanged, safely ensconced in their comfort zones. Transformative change is risky as it almost always requires that we let go of those attachments that paralyze us; in many ways change may feel a little like dying. How many of us have considered our experiences during Covid19 as transformative? Do we recognize ongoing changes that are desirable and maybe not so desirable? How many of us have been challenged by the need to change, a this time during which holding on to the old way is not even an option?  

Paradoxically, we as people who follow Jesus – want to grow but do we really want to change. Why can’t it just happen without our involvement is the fanciful wish? Let it happen in the bliss of ignorance. Change, you see, brings the unknown. Change is not certain. Change implies risk and even potential loss. 

In Matthew we see the love of God manifest in Jesus’ ability to embrace our human diversity with his divinely inspired nature. Reaction to the different ministries of John and Jesus provide a model to help us understand that whatever we do can never meet the needs of everyone. We will not be able to reach those whose lenses are distorted by ego and they will forever remain deaf to us. Instead, surrendering our voice to God who through the Holy Spirit will provide the voice that will reach the different ears and different needs, we vainly believe that what we say should be sufficient for all.  

Thomas Keating tells us “that there are all kinds of ways in which God speaks to us—through our thoughts and/or anyone of our faculties. But keep in mind that God’s first language is silence. We must listen. We must be willing to listen. The Spirit speaks to our conscience through scripture and through the events of daily life. Reflection on those two sources of personal encounter and the dismantling of the emotional programming of the past prepare the psyche to listen at a more refined level of attention.”  

As John and Jesus show us, there is more than one means to the great end… God.

The World Was Younger Than Today

In the years before Covid19, we had the good fortune to celebrate Father’s Day with my son and his family.  The day was always made more special because it coincided with 2 June birthdays. Now, post Covid, we were able to celebrate in person again, although the children are no longer children; all,except on is in his/her 20’s. And their issues are far more complex now.  Although it was only four years ago, it seemed so long ago and far way and the world was much younger than today. 

As the proverbial “fly on the wall,” I  enjoyed listening to their repartee and marveled as to how well this all turned out. I realized that I became a better parent when I became a grandfather. As a grandparent I am more a spectator than an active participant and have the luxury of being able to sit back and observe how these scenes of life  all play out. Sure, I know some of the challenges my son and daughter-in-law face in rearing children are the same as the ones we and our parents faced, but the world and our culture are more complex today and the pressures on parents to manage these challenges are greater than the ones we faced. Our parents never faced Covid19 and the challenges that this dreaded virus has heaped on young families. The book has yet to be written but somehow it seems that it is all working out and that whatever changes that had to be made were made with insight and intuition and by the seat of our pants. 

As a “spectator” I am in awe as to how our son and daughter-in-law work through the endless issues that pop up on a daily, if not hourly basis, and I ask myself, “when did they learn to do all that; where did they pick up all the skills to handle this? I don’t think I would have done it as well.” I have learned so much about parenting in watching them and while it makes me feel good to think that there may be some imprinting going on, they are far ahead of where I was then.  

Life, wrote Kierkegaard, can only be understood backwards.  But it  can only be lived going forward.  

We see ourselves in our children almost as if we were watching an old home movie or looking in a mirror. Wouldn't it be great if we could see our lives and ways of relating to others play out in the life of Jesus? Every day we strive to be Jesus’ surrogates in all that we do. We don’t always succeed although being aware of when we slip is part of the journey.

Our task (Matthew 10: 37-42) is to consciously attend to the Christ in everyone. Christ in the stranger. Christ in the enemy. Christ in the friend. Christ in the spouse. Christ in our siblings. Christ in the politician who makes our blood boil. Christ in the disenfranchised. Christ in the “others.”

 

You Are What You Eat

 

Very truly, I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you…John 6:51-58  

Whoa!!! Imagine hearing these words for the first time without any previous knowledge of the Eucharist.  We know that some of those gathered in the crowd were startled by what Jesus was saying, to the point that they stopped following him. Jesus doesn’t tone down his rhetoric or even hint that he might be speaking metaphorically. No, he said what he did in the way he did so that his words would not be easily forgotten. He wanted to challenge his followers to process his words so that they would resonate in a place beyond the intellect. I wonder if after years of listening to so many Gospel readings and sermons on the Eucharist, have we become jaded to the true essence of their meaning?  

Imagine you are attending church for the first time as this passage is read!

Imagine hearing Jesus say these words. How would you react???  

Once again John relies on mystical words to speak to each of us in that place in which the personal images of reality and life itself reside. John invites us to close our eyes and picture what being in a relationship with God really means. Note, I use the word “picture,” not “understand,” in an effort to prompt our imagination and senses to feel the words as a palpable, sensory experience, and know what being in a relationship with God actually feels like, tastes like, and smells like. This is at the essence of our being and what we mean when we say “and the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” God fully shared our humanity through Jesus as we through Jesus, fully share in God’s divinity. Anything less than that relationship with God would be reduced to mere acquaintance.  

St. Augustine used the phrase “visible words” to help explain the connection between the sacraments and our daily lives. Baptism and Communion are visible, physical manifestations of our faith. In other words, the sacraments are the embodiment of the gospel in the material form of water, bread, and wine. They serve as the physical presence of what we have heard and believe because we are physical creatures. And so the gospel is proclaimed so that we may hear it, and this very same gospel comes alive to us in the Eucharist as we taste, touch and feel it with our hands, our mouths and our bodies.

My Prayer to the Holy Trinity

 

Dear God, 

I'm not making excuses but your residing within my very being is all very new to me and frankly has never been discussed as part of my religious education. I hate to sound critical but this doctrine of the Indwelling may have been passed over; I don't remember hearing from the nuns in grade school or the brothers in high school. I wonder if they even knew?

Yet Lord, all the while, deep down I wanted your love and the assurance of your love and I always tried to earn it. So you can see why your Indwelling Presence strikes me as strange and foreign.  Now I’m being told that while my prayers are beautiful and comforting, whenever I want to speak with you, it’s not always necessary to say the prayers I was taught and had memorized . No, rather I should converse naturally, in a familiar and relaxed way as if you’re “one of the family” because you Eternal Three, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, have made your home in me.

My religious training emphasized that you were the one who would punish me if I even talked in Church... and as a youngster I remember confessing it. It was a sin. I was trained to be meticulously respectful when I came into your presence, as if your presence was only in Church. (I remember feeling guilty for a long time when Sister Janice discovered Ralph and me playing the theme from “Dragnet” on the organ in the choir loft, one Saturday afternoon. Who knew she was preparing the sacristy for Sunday Mass! I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to face her wrath on Monday or roast in hell forever?) Now, I’m being told that your presence is within me! And I’m supposed to be comfortable with you. I feel as though I should hold my breath.

Dear God, now I’m learning not to think of grace as the absence of sin but as a gift of your presence, Father, Son and Spirit within me.  And that you are closer to me than I am to myself and that you want to be for no other reason except that you love me. That is so beautiful that I really want to hold on to this feeling forever.

I’m trying to understand that the more aware, conscious, alert, and attentive I am to your triune presence within me, the more I will find you in all things. Dear God, I really do want this.

Frankly, I must admit that in the past I hadn’t given much thought to your presence, your intimacy, you activity within me. What a love you must have for me! A genuine, boundless, omnipotent, all-present, eternal, home love within me! I certainly need a mature faith for this. I no longer can go just gliding along the surface of my old religious practices anymore, can I?

Thank you Lord.

In the Name of the Father, from whom we came and to whom we are going, and to the Son, in whom we find our true self, and to the Holy Spirit, the divine aliveness in our innermost life. Amen                                                                                            (John 3 :16-13)

(adapted from  Ronald T. Haney SJ, God Within You, Mysticism for the 21^st Century, pp. 150-151)