Forgive and Forget

When you're awake, the things you think
Come from the dreams you dream
Thought has wings, and lots of things
Are seldom what they seem
Sometimes you think you've lived before
All that you live today
Things you do come back to you
As though they knew the way 

Robert Capon Farrar tells us that God does not forgive our transgressions because we have made ourselves forgivable. There is nothing we can do to earn forgiveness. We are forgiven solely because there is a Divine forgiver who loves us unconditionally. There is nothing we can do to earn it or lose his love. (Matthew 16:13-20)

Love is at the core of Jesus’ teachings and forgiveness is why he died and was resurrected. Why is it then that we have such a hard time forgiving? Is it because it’s so closely tied to memory and the human inability to forget? These two human behaviors are really mutually exclusive, yet we blithely say as if it’s even possible, “let’s forgive and forget.” No wonder we have a difficult time looking at personal hurt as Jesus did. He did not tell us to forget about it; he told us to see God in those who have hurt us and just let it go. 

 

We will be soon approaching another anniversary of September 11, 2001, an infamous day in our history, which for those of us living here in the Northeast, carries with it even stronger hurts and remembrances of those loved ones who lost their lives. We will remember them but can we “forgive and forget?” I don’t think so. Perhaps if we dwell on the memory of those loved ones we lost on that fateful Tuesday, we can begin or at least continue the process of forgiving. However, it’s easier said than done. To that end, I find the words of Anthony Padovano particularly comforting as we reflect on the importance of remembering: 

When we remember, we leave the present for the past. To say it better, we bring the past into the present and give it life alongside the tangible realities we are compelled to consider. In our memory of a loved one we choose to relate to him/her even though, since he is not present, we need not relate to him. Not physical presence but love leads us to live with this remembered person even in her absence. When the love is strong, the memory of this absent person may be dearer and more real than the reality of those who are present. Memory is sometimes the difference between life and death, between hope and despair, between strength for another day and the collapse of all meaning. Our memory of another confers the present upon him, gives him further life in our life, and keeps a moment of the past from drifting away or fading into death. We are fed and nourished by communion of life in which two lives intersect in memory and merge into common experience. No lover forgets. No beloved is forgotten. The memory of love is life; the memory of another becomes our selves. So when the communion of believers remembers Jesus, when the bride is alive with the thought of her Spouse, Christ is present. Jesus is brought into the present with his grace by the force of memory in the power of the Spirit…The gift of the Sprit is fidelity to the memory of life’s mystery and confidence in the mystery of its future.  (Anthony Padovano, Dawn without Darkness)

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Our Gospel for Sunday 8/20/17 is Matthew 15:21-28

 

 

Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water...

Have you ever noticed that it’s often in our most challenging times that we sense God’s presence most clearly? I’m not saying it should be this way or that God only appears when we most need him. Rather, I think there is just something about significant challenges and trials that clarify our priorities and cut through the many distractions of everyday life that prevent us from seeing God more clearly.

 

So part of what strikes me in this passage (Matthew 14:22-33) is how it reveals something deeply true about our humanity, and I think it is personified in the behavior of the disciples. While I know for sure that I often overlook God’s presence in the peaceful and pleasant times of my life when all is well, I have no problem calling out to him when things take a more difficult turn. Yes, I know it’s all a part of our transformative journey during which we grow in our quest to be more closely united with God. But let’s face it, it’s so much easier to live in the peaceful and pleasant times.

 I think part of it is that we spend a fair amount of our time and energy trying to establish a stable, safe, and secure life, both for ourselves and those we love. There’s nothing wrong with that on one level. From the beginning God desires that we flourish, and stability promotes growth. But do we sometimes just sit back and wait for life to happen, or do we step out of our “boat” and make it happen? Either way, we may forget how much we depend on God. All too often we take comfort in our modest success and assume we no longer need God, or at least forget how much a part of our lives God is… and desires to be. Or is it that we confuse the “status quo” with abundant life? Yet, when tragedy strikes in the form of personal loss, illness, the fracture of a relationship, or some mistake we’ve made, our ongoing need for God becomes painfully clear.

And what does this say about Peter? What model does this simple man provide for us? Despite the danger that surrounded him, he was willing to leave the boat and meet Jesus where he was. And when he began to think and tried to take control instead of surrendering his fear to God, he faltered…yet somehow he knew he would be OK as he reached out to Jesus. Oh, how I envy Peter.